Sh!tlist: She looked like a girl straight out of a movie, and so did he.
Its official, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the votes are in and Ashlee “I’m only famous because of my sister” Simpson and Pete “I’m only famous because I married Jessica’s sister” Wentz are married.
*Throws rice and watches birds eat it and explode soon after*
Ashlee Simpson, of course, is the younger, emoer sister of Jessica Simpson who’s claim to fame is proving she’s a good role model by getting a nose job (well… to be fair, she really needed a nose job) and sleeping with Wilmer Valderama (Yes, Fez from That 70’s Show had his thingy in her thingy). And one of her first Simpson-moments was at her sister’s wedding when she blurted out “me and Jessica used to take baths together and now she and Nick are gonna take baths together.” Stay classy Simpson family, stay classy.
Pete Wentz is famous for… well… he’s in Fall Out Boy, so I guess he is only famous to 14 & 15 year old girls. Oh, and as a sign of his gratitude, he repayed those 14 & 15 year olds girls by posting cell phone pics of him playing with his Fall Out Boy on the interwebs.
Do you realize the kids this couple is gonna produce? Freakishly emo kids. Their first son is gonna be born with guy-liner on and their first daughter is gonna be born with scars on her wrist. And then George Bush is gonna have to raise the national security warning level from “green” to “Pink is the new black is the new red.” But at least the whole family can cry together aft the births. And cry on the way home. Probably cry at Taco Bell later that night. In fact Ashlee and Pete will probably cry while they are making their babies.
And whats with this pic?
Seriously? Were the Wentz-Simpsons sitting at home and said “Ya know what our wedding needs? A bulldog!”
But its good that the bulldog was there. It was probably the prettiest girl (next to Pete Wentz) there.
Come to think of it. Who was the last Simpson to marry someone from a band? That ended well right?
A.C. Slater Fact #14
Someone once took a drop of A.C. Slater’s sweat and put it on a tiny blue stone, this was the birth of Viagra.
A.C. Slater Fact #13
The reason people never see ninjas is because Slater shoved them all in lockers at Bayside High.
A.C. Slater Fact #12
Super Mario Brothers were created in A.C.’s alter ego’s image.
Today’s 20: 7.11.08
Today’s Odd News Stories
- Police find $400,000 worth of cocaine in an undercover police car that they have been driving for 2 months. That’s some fine police work there. (AP.org)
- You can’t have a Waffle House Wedding without someone named “Bubba,” a reference to Nascar, and Hank Williams, Jr blaring from an SUV’s stereo. (Gwinnett Daily Post)
- “Quick! Arrest that pink elephant before our faces melt.” 18-Year old kid gives cops LSD Cookies. (Asylum)
- Them’s some big bloomers. (Telegraph)
- Not all professional video gamers are college drop outs who sleep on their mom’s couch and works part time at Boston Markets. This isn’t a good example of that however. (Sun Sentinel)
Today’s Blogs
- Nike Actually Made Marty McFly’s “BTTF II” Sneakers. (Cinematical)
- Fascinating Fart Facts (Asylum)
- Baseball’s All Ugly Team (Comedy.com)
- Steve-O talks about Steve-Oey stuff. (Myspace)
- Why England should be our 51st State (Asylum)
Today’s Cool Free Software
- Revo Uninstaller – beats the default windows uninstaller by a mile. (Revo Uninstaller)
- Auslogics Disk Defrag – Much safer, more effective disk defragmentation software. (Auslogics)
- MDAxel, new folder creation made easy. Kinda. (Life hacker)
- Readbag, store a bunch of links for later. (Online App) (Readbag)
- Tunecrypt (Download Squad)
Today’s Science News
- Planet Mercury is Shrinking. (All Headline News)
- According to the first paragraph of this story, being fat is a mutation. I’m 1/4 the way to finally becoming a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. (News.com.au)
- This article has something to do with curing Alzheimers. I didn’t read it, but it does say “oral” in the headline (giggity). (Science Daily)
- Octopuses given Rubik’s Cubes to find out if they have a favorite tentacle. I personally like all my tentacles equally. Warning: Full frontal pic of an octopus’ tentacles hanging out all over the place. (Daily Mail)
- Recycling cures cancer! (Science Daily)
