Today’s 20: 7.14.08

Today’s Odd News Stories
- Braces: Not only good for ensuring you’ll keep your virginity for a long time, but great at stopping bullets. (M Live)
- Kris Draper of the Detroit Red Wings drinks out of the Stanley Cup, and lets his oldest kids eat ice cream out of it. Not sure if that was before or after his youngest child pooped in it. (The Star)
- Mayor of Jackson, Mississississississississississippi has kids demolish a crack house with sledgehammers, whoops, wrong house. (New York Times)
- Apparently sports team names aren’t racist after 76 years. (ESPN)
- North Korea to South Korea: “Hey, South Korea, we just killed one of your citizens, we demand an apology!” (MSNBC)

Today’s Entertainment/Celeb News/Gossip
- Pamela Anderson vows not to strip while on Australia’s Big Brother television show. *Changes Channel* (Daily Mail)
- Matthew McCanahee… McCannyhay… McClosetgay… That shirtless guy gets $3 million for pictures of his and his woman’s crotchfruit. (New York Post)
- Joe Montana’s son vs Wayne Gretzky’s son for quarterbacking duties at Oaks Christian school. I’m more considered about where Wayne Gretzky’s daughter might be going. (Ventura County Star)
- Jamie Lynn Spears says being a mother is “so much fun.” Other things Jamie Lynn Spears thinks are so much fun: Cheetos, budweiser, Judge Judy. (Reuters)
- John Mayer sleeps with his fans. Talk about alienating your audience. (Ninja Dude)

Today’s Lists
- 7 Movies Based on a True Story (That Are Complete Bullshit) (Cracked)
- 5 Best Instant Messengers. (Life Hacker)
- 8 Live Action Superheroes You Couldn’t Take Seriously. (Next Round)
- 10 Modern Day Survival Tips (Life Hacker)
- 10 Common Sense Money Saving Tips For Movie Fans. (The Movie Blog)

Today’s Dumbasses
- Moron sends pot via FedEx, gets the wrong address. (MyFoxDC.com)
- This guy gets 6 Million spam emails a year, and loves it. (The Sun)
- Guy calls 911 multiple times for stupid reasons, demands a police officer is sent his way and won’t stop calling until it happens. Gets his wish. (TBO)
- There’s the cliche that women can’t drive, then theres the cliche that 91-year old women get stuck under cars too much. (MSNBC)
- So… 15 teens walk into a dorm elevator with a 1200 pound weight limit. The punchline? All of it? (M Live)