From The Vault: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Blog

[Original Post Date: October 22nd, 2005]

So I’m sitting here watching the drone box and up pops a commercial for Charlie Brown’s Halloween special… which makes me wonder how many Charlie Brown Holiday specials there are… so i searched on the internet and found a list… so i’ll share them w/ ya

Halloween - Its the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
X-Mas – Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown
Haunakah - Don’t put the dreidel there, Charlie Brown
Mardi Gras – Lucy took her top off and you totally missed it, Charlie Brown
Boxing Day (Canada) – You’re fighting Mike Tyson, Charlie Brown
Rosh Hashannah – What’s Rosh Hashannah, Charlie Brown
4th of July – You blew your hand off with illegal fireworks, Charlie Brown
Father’s Day – Dad’s passed out in a pool of his own vomit again, Charlie Brown
Mother’s Day – Your mom’s sleeping with your best friend, Charlie Brown
Black History Month – Once you go black you never go back, Charlie Brown
Valentine’s Day – Your white trash girlfriend gave you herpes, Charlie Brown
Easter - The Easter bunny’s coming to kill you, Charlie Brown
April Fool’s Day – You’re the greatest, Charlie Brown…. April Fools!!!!! ha ha… just kidding, you suck, Charlie Brown
Special Olympics – Today is all about you, Charlie Brown
Grandparent’s Day – Time for you to change Grampa’s diaper, Charlie Brown
His Birthday – Nobody came to your birthday party because we all hate you, Charlie Brown
New Year’s Day – You’re drunk and masturbating on a homeless man in the middle of Time’s square, Charlie Brown
Thanksgiving - That’s not what I meant by “stuff the turkey”, Charlie Brown
Leap Year – Another day for you to be a fat, big-headed, bald elementary school kid that everyone wishes were dead, Charlie Brown

Oh… hey Saddam… didn’t know you were joining me today… well… thanks, at least someone thought it was funny…

Saddam sure does like to point… Anyway did ya notice in all of Charlie Brown’s specials Lucy, Peppermint Patty, Pigpen, Linus, Snoopy, Woodstock, and the rest of the Peanuts gang never try to get Charlie Brown help for his male pattern baldness… seriously, there needs to be a “Here’s Some Rogaine, Charlie Brown” or “How ’bout some hairplugs, Charlie Brown” specials on… the kids like 10, if that… and he’s bald… its sad…