The Joshtionary, Entry III

Chumpstain: A general derogatory name to call someone.

“Handsome” Hanzy Hanzig Heimlich: The name of my European love god split personality. More specifically, he’s the son of “Happy” Hanzo Hanstitch Heimlich, the creator of the life saving Heimlich Manuever. If you ever hear me say “Tasty Treat” in a feminine German accent thats Hanzy coming out.

Uncle Festers: Breasts… don’t ask why… just go with it…

The Joshtionary, Entry II

Barbatric (Bar-bah-trik): having barbarian, neanderthal-like, or crude traits.

Italy Giver: A take on Indian Giver (Someone who gives you something and then takes it back). Except an Italy Giver is someone who asks you if you want the last slice of pizza, you say no in hopes that they don’t want it either so then you can eat it, but after saying no the Italy Giver scarfs down the last tasty slice right in front of your face.

Saint Patty’s Yule Log: Penis. Named after Jakub Fik who cut off his weiner and threw it at a cop during Saint Patty’s ‘06. Why did he do that? Don’t know… If he painted it green before chopping it off and tossing it, that I can understand… its good luck in Ireland if a severed green penis slaps you across the face…

The Joshtionary Entry I

Bouch: A couch used mainly as a bed.

Fergly: Like fugly (fuckin’ ugly) but to a larger extent. Named in honor of how Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas looks without make-up. Not that theres enough make-up in the world to make her look all that great in the first place.

Omecidence (Ohm-es-eh-dense): an event that is both a freak coincidence and an omen of whats to come.